Children need to be “noble to neglect”, the Swiss psychotherapist Allan Guggenbul is convinced. He advocates to pamper children less and give them greater freedom. It is extremely difficult for many parents to decide to do it, because society crushes from everywhere. The fear of being bad, inattentive, unlocked is too great, and it is completely unclear how to get rid of it.

The Swiss psychotherapist, unlike many other authors, knows the fears of many fathers and mothers from his own therapeutic practice. It seems to them that they are not well and carefully educate their child to calmly exist in our “Neoliberal Society”.

Allan Guggenbul in the book “For my child – all the best. How we deprive our childhood children ”offers mothers and fathers to show courage and persistently advocates the right of children to playing childhood and spontaneous, chaotic youth, in which they are allowed to try themselves and make mistakes.

He insists on weakening control and says to adults: less school, fewer prohibitions, more free space, more benevolent parental neglect and more aimless “wandering” of the child. After all, parents, no matter how regrettable they read it, do not necessarily know the right decision for his future life at all better than their child.

“Teenagers no longer want their future to be formulated and built by adults, they want to design it on their own,” the author writes.

Children’s lack of freedom

What will happen to children who now have everything? Will they become smug -centered or helpless adults? First of all, one should fear their insolvency, the psychotherapist is convinced.

“You provide children with a bear’s service when you eliminate any obstacles in their path and constantly satisfy all their needs. They begin to feel that the environment should fulfill their desires, and it is unfair if this does not happen. But life can be tough and contradictory. “.

But uneasy the phenomenon of “parents-vertebrates” (this term was born as an image of moms and dads that forever swirling over a child) is not an attempt to protect the child from this unfair world? It is clear that parents want the best for their child.

The number of children in families decreased, and the age of the parents increased. Age parents are more afraid for children – this is a fact. A single child risks turning into an emotionally charged project. In addition, such parents have more time for a child, and this often comes out for him sideways.

Children stopped playing freely on the street. Their mobile phones are enough for contact with peers. The path to school is now carried out by the services “Mom-Taxi”. Swing and slides at playgrounds are filled with kids who are constantly under the control of parents or nannies.

The child’s leisure – from a preschooler to a graduate – is rigidly organized, any prank or adolescence experiment immediately becomes socially unacceptable and are interpreted as pathology and even mental disorder.

But then the question arises: how much freedom does the child need and how much care? Where is the middle ground? “Children need educators in which they can rely,” Allan Guggenbul is convinced. – However, they do not need adults who impose various programs to them. Let the children choose their interests themselves “.

Labor, not just study

What do children need to be happy? According to Allan Guggenbul, they need love. A lot of love and fundamental acceptance by parents. But they also need strangers who will communicate with them and gradually enter into the world. And here the school plays an important role. However, here the psychologist has reservations.

You need to study, but taking a break for other beneficial activities. Child labour? That would be a solution! – postulates the Zurich psychotherapist. “Starting from the age of nine, release newspapers once a week, instead of attending school. And so – within a few months “. This will expand the possibilities of the child.

You can use it in warehouse work, work in the field or in small commercial matters – for https://www.golfitos.es/starda-zerkalo-rabochee-android-apk-ios-avtomaty/ example, a part -time job in the store when laying out goods for racks, assistance at the checkout, cleaning and consultation for buyers. Restaurants offer many opportunities to earn.

The wages, according to the author of the book, should not correspond to the level of adults, but from the point of view of the child, it should be significant. Guggenbul is convinced that this will provide children with awareness of real responsibility and effectiveness in the adult world.

However, the problem with the book of Guggenbul, as well as with many similar “education textbooks”, is that its conclusions are applicable only to part of the population, critics believe. Looking at the shelves in bookstores, you might think that the control and promotion of European parents is a huge social problem.

In really everything is far from the case. A much more acute question is that, for example, in Germany 21% of all children constantly live in poverty. In Bremen and Berlin, every third child is poor, even in the rich Hamburg, every fifth child lives behind the poverty line. And what will be such statistics if you look at Russia?

Children living behind the poverty line are constantly in psychological stress, constrained housing conditions, their parents do not have money for healthy diet, education, hobbies and leave. They definitely do not threaten the splendor and indulgence of whims. It would be nice if advisers among children’s and teenage psychotherapists devoted their time and attention to this side of childhood.